Sunday, 16 June 2013

Headless Naked Lady

We are all familiar, to a greater or lesser extent, with the naked ladies in my garden. Recently, I decided to give one of them a bath and spruce her up a bit! This involved drilling holes, sanding her cracked edges and stringing yarn across her broken bits...

Sunday, 9 June 2013

A Nonsense

I was going to write a sonnet about my Easter bonnet,
But someone sat upon it so I cannot write a sonnet about my Easter bonnet.

I thought I'd write a poem but it started out quite solemn,
And I couldn't write about a harem; that didn't make sense at all!

I'd like to leave a note but I couldn't find a goat,
And there wasn't a single boat, so the idea became remote.

I want to write a tale about a lonely whale,
Who stranded in a town called Sayle, where they stole and ate his tail.

I tried to write a song but it seemed so dreadful long,
Then I had to bang a gong and forgot all about my song.

I invented a limerick but it wasn't very quick,
And I thought you might think me thick. So I deleted it.

I found a little verse but it was a trifle perverse,
And I couldn't fit it in my purse, so I left it in a hearse.

I should have sent a letter as none can write one better,
But I took the paper swimming and it couldn't have gotten wetter!

I would like to write an ode, but the talent hasn't showed.
I thought and thought as I walked along the road, but felt 'twas impossible that I should write an ode.

I tried to write a ballad, but I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with the blasted word.

I thought I'd try an epic, but it became so very sick,
When it tumbled in the attic that it ended up quite static.

There's room for one more stanza - if it can hide from a panzer,
and find an endangered panda, it would be a clever stanza.

I might have wrote a story; not one that would be gory.
I am the niddy-noddy champion and so I shine in glory!

Written for the Guest Book at Rayrigg Hall, April 2012