Thursday, 5 March 2015

That Nasty Little Voice

"Do you have a voice in your head?"
"What sort of voice?"
"I don't know, just a... a voice. That says stuff..."
"What sort of stuff?"
"Just silly stuff, like 'you're not good enough' that sort of stuff."
"No. I don't have one of those."
"Do you have one of those voices?"
"You're lucky not to have one of them."
"I said, do you have one of those voices?"
"I suppose so."
"What do you mean, 'I suppose so' ? What does that mean? Either you do, or you don't. Do you?"
"Well, yes, if you want to put it like that, then I do."
"What does it say to you?"
"That I'm not good enough."
"You said that already. What else does it say?"
"... that nobody likes me..."
"Who does it sounds like? The voice. Is it your voice?"
"I think so."
"You're so tiresome. Either it is or it isn't. Is it your voice?"
"Obviously it's my voice! Whose else would it be? It is in my head, remember."
"Well I don't know do I. It could be your mothers voice."
"Why would my mother say I wasn't good enough?"
"Why would you say you weren't good enough?"
"I don't know. That's why I asked if you had a voice in your head."
"I suppose I do have a voice in my head."
"What do you mean you 'suppose' - either you do or you don't. Do you?"
"Well, yes. I do. But not one like the one in your head."
"What do you mean? What's your voice like?"
"It tells me to eat things that I don't want to."
"You can't blame being greedy on voices in your head. That's not fair."
"I am NOT greedy!"
"You ARE! You ate all the sweets that my mother made, for me, and you ate them."
"But that's exactly what I mean. I didn't want to eat them. I knew I shouldn't. But the voice egged me on..."
"How did it egg you on?"
"It just said how nice they were, and how good they'd feel in my mouth and before I knew it they were all gone. I am sorry."
"That's all right. I'm glad you ate them as it goes. My voice just tells me I'm too fat and it laughs at me when I eat, especially sweets, so I'm glad you ate them."
"Your voice sounds horrid!"
"It is horrid."
"What do you say to it?"
"What do you say to it? You must say something to it? Mustn't you? You don't just let it say all those horrible things do you?"
"You DO! You just LET it say that you're fat and that no body likes you!? Why?"
"What can I say? I mean, it's in my head, it's me isn't it? I can't tell myself off!"
"Of course you can!"
"Try it! Next time that horrid voice says anything nasty to you, tell it to, tell it to... tell it to Fuck Off!"

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